is terrifying - when I am in New York.
There is something about painting (or drawing) in public in New York that I find very scary. Everyone is in a rush in New York, to be seen just sitting for hours painting I feel like I am taking up space. And then there is the content of the painting - if it’s not exceptionally good I assume everyone who walks by will be judging me. Suddenly I am performing - I am overthinking it - how does a real painter paint? What gives me the right to pretend to be a real painter taking up time and space painting when important people have places to be!?
In Paris though, I have no fear. Maybe it’s that the French have more of an air of I really couldn’t care less what you are doing about them that I feel safely ignored. Or, it’s possibly because the entire city, with its outward facing brasserie seating at every corner is made for idling. I can just sit for HOURS and paint and no one will pay me any attention, including the waiter. It’s perfect.
Painting in public in Paris, I feel safely ignored, except on a recent painting expedition to a parc where I suddenly realized I had drawn a crowd - of very small french children. These kids were fearless and had no sense of personal space or social etiquette (in a charming way). They started asking many questions in rapid french. When I explained that Je suis désolé, mais je ne parle pas français the smallest one (who was sadly not Madeline but, I later learned from her nanny, Celia) spoke english and took full advantage of being the only one who could communicate with me by making several suggestions of what I should paint next.
She narrated an entire story of Santa going on a camping trip in the woods with a tent and a fire where he could toast marshmallows.
I was impressed by her story telling, and then perplexed when her nanny explained her family doesn’t celebrate Christmas.
I gave Celia the painting so she could mail it to Santa (a request she was confused by, but I guess that makes sense given the whole no-Christmas-at-Celia’s-house thing) and resolved to be braver when I go back to New York, and paint in public.